Reginald Pemperton is a London-based journalist, satirist, and reluctant technologist.
OopsSec
To comply with newly minted Ofcom regulations, crafted, no doubt, after a robust discussion over sherry and mild repression. Every pervayour of adult entertainment must now implement “robust” age verification systems. That’s right: before you can click on that mildly adventurous video titled “Step-Aunt’s Unexpected Yoga Lesson”, you’
Artificial Idocy
The world was aghast on Wednesday after an AI chatbot, owned by a man who in recent memory threw Sieg Heil's on the world stage, began casually discussing genocide against white South Africans. Like all good racists, the comments arrived completely unprompted, mid-discussion about a completely unrelated topic.
Grand Malarkey
On a Sunday afternoon at one’s local drinking establishment, just between a cake sale for homeless British kittens and an event glorifying ancient wars to justify present-day politics, your correspondent happened upon Mr Nigel Farage holding court by the fruit machine. In good spirits and two pints deep (on
Big Tech (Small Morals)
In a dazzling display of altruism, Big Tech companies have decided that large language models are such a gift to the world, there should be no consequences for the copyright laws they breached in creating them. The companies insist that AI models are not derivative, but rather “inspired,” much like
Big Tech (Small Morals)
It’s been at least a few moments since Google Glass died a death. But Apple and Meta are banking on collective amnesia, that we have forgotten the term “glasshole” and this time they will create a product so compelling people will be thrilled to strap a $3,500 face
Thortiverse
Last year, Periwinkle Cobra, a marketing agency known more for brash slogans than technical depth, wrapped up a conference talk with the cheery closer: “Give AI a try, it won’t bite.” Well. It bit. Abelard Dongleman, the agency’s owner and self-appointed thought leader, delivered the talk. A man
Thortiverse
In an unusual move, a company recently hacked has put its hands up and fully confirmed the extent of the breach and data leak. Normally, the industry playbook reads: deny, deflect, gaslight. Ensuring victims remain blissfully unaware, while executives quietly cover their digital behinds and update their LinkedIn profiles. Not
Big Tech (Small Morals)
After years of casually steamrolling regulations and racking up fines like loyalty points, Meta has now reluctantly agreed to ‘technically’ follow the law. But not without a solemn warning: doing so might lead to “materially worse experience” for users. Although your correspondent’s mind boggles as to what could possibly
Big Tech (Small Morals)
As first reported by TechCrunch, Google is said to be making TV shows to convince you that it is, in fact, not evil. The shows are rumoured to feature members of Google’s executive suite tending to rabbits and other soft, non-threatening animals, presumably to counterbalance the company’s fondness
Artificial Idocy
In a bold step forward for artificial intelligence, and a monumental leap backward for human communication, Meta this week unveiled its latest innovation: a chatbot modelled after CEO Mark Zuckerberg. Unfortunately, engineers were unable to train out Mark’s signature emotional detachment. The bot, named “Zuck5000,” was revealed during a
Artificial Idocy
Because solving crimes is so last decade.
Inclusion ™
In a rare and heartwarming moment in the tech industry, Chantel Moped returned from maternity leave to discover she still had a job. “I’m honestly euphoric”, said Moped, who had prepared emotionally and legally for the worst. “You hear the same story over and over; women quietly managed out