Creative Commons for Thee, Copyright for Me
In a dazzling display of altruism, Big Tech companies have decided that large language models are such a gift to the world, there should be no consequences for the copyright laws they breached in creating them.
The companies insist that AI models are not derivative, but rather “inspired,” much like how a toddler with poster paint is inspired by Jackson Pollock. Spokesman Ivor Chindle explained;
“Sure, our model can generate a song that sounds suspiciously like a Taylor Swift B-side, but only because it’s dreaming in data. And dreams, famously, cannot be sued”
When pressed on whether this generous approach to IP extended to their own products, Mr Chindle fell off his chair in fits of laughter.
Once composure had been regained, he concluded with a bold vision for the future: a world where all human knowledge is free...just as long as it comes from you, not us.
“IP shouldn’t be a thing in this day and age. Unless, of course, it’s to protect something my company has built. I’ve never paid the piper, and I don’t intend to start now”
Your correspondent pressed the government’s tech office for comment, but officials did not have anyone equal parts confident and clueless on hand to comment. However, one member of parliament, speaking on condition of anonymity, confirmed: “We simply don’t have time to regulate billion-dollar companies; we’re still trying to get the printer to work.”
