Meta Introduces New AI Chatbot modelled on Mark Zuckerberg. Immediately fails Turing test.
In a bold step forward for artificial intelligence, and a monumental leap backward for human communication, Meta this week unveiled its latest innovation: a chatbot modelled after CEO Mark Zuckerberg.
Unfortunately, engineers were unable to train out Mark’s signature emotional detachment.
The bot, named “Zuck5000,” was revealed during a carefully choreographed “relaxed interview” designed to convey that the tech mogul is, in fact, a rad kind of dude.
Booting up live during the demo, the bot’s opening gambit was to ask: “Are you experiencing enjoyment?” before immediately offering a free trial of Meta Quest Pro.
“Zuck5000 is designed to bridge the gap between humans and hyper-capitalist simulation”, said Meta spokesperson Gertrude Bravman, nervously glancing at Mark, who, at that moment, had been staring unblinkingly at a potted plant for seven minutes.
Zuck5000 is now available on WhatsApp, though it has yet to convince anyone of its human credentials. When asked if the bot had passed the Turing Test, one Meta engineer replied: “No...but it did outperform most interns on ad-targeting benchmarks”.
