Meta Reluctantly Accepts British Law. Predicts Apocalypse by Tuesday.
After years of casually steamrolling regulations and racking up fines like loyalty points, Meta has now reluctantly agreed to ‘technically’ follow the law. But not without a solemn warning: doing so might lead to “materially worse experience” for users.
Although your correspondent’s mind boggles as to what could possibly be worse than being aggressively sold a mindfulness app in the middle of a nervous breakdown… or for that matter, being algorithmically served a sun-drenched selfie of your ex-wife and her new husband honeymooning in Santorini while you eat cereal for dinner from a mug.
Meta, ever the martyr, reminds us:
“Personalised advertising on our platforms drives over £19.5 billion in revenues for UK businesses every year.”
A touching plea from a company that has, allegedly, turbocharged genocides, interfered in democratic elections, and monetised the insecurities of emotionally volatile teenagers.
Nevertheless, they seem oddly confident they can still paint the regulators as the real villains here.
Meta’s products may be making us all a little bit dumber, but let’s hope we’re not so far gone we mistake the regulators for the enemy and Zuckerberg for some kind of misunderstood tech Batman.
Oh, and Barbara, if you’re reading this; tell Carlos he’s not even tagging you properly.
